Thursday, August 11, 2016

Battle of the Boys and Election 2016

Since we're now in the general election season it's time to check in with the boys and see who they're endorsing for president in 2016.

Clock Boy: Not Trump
While he hasn't explicitly endorsed any candidate, his comments and those of his dad make it clear that Trump is a no-go for multiple reasons. And they've been hanging out with Democrats in DC recently so expect a Hillary endorsement at some point.

Balloon Boy: Trump
B-Boy has always been a bit of a wildcard so it shouldn't be surprising that he'd go for the wildcard candidate. And by wildcard I really mean attention whore.

Bat Boy: ?? Trump?
Sadly Bat Boy hasn't been active politically since 2008 when he endorsed McCain then switched over to Obama. His whereabouts and current activities are unknown but assuming that he's even aware of the election in his cave hideout, I have a feeling that he'd go for Trump. Just a hunch on my part though.

And then there's the real bellwether of the election: space alien.

Space alien: Probably Hillary
Space alien is bit hard to peg and he hasn't been active in politics in recent years either but his endorsement/prediction record going back to Reagan in 1980 has been 100%. He supported Clinton both times, then GW Bush, and then Obama. He hasn't said anything to date but based on his long personal history with the Clintons I'm guessing he's on Team Hillary.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Red Letter Media Star Wars Reviews Outtakes And My Belated Force Awakens Review [Extended Dance Cut Edition]

So earlier this year I re-watched the Red Letter Media Mr. Plinkett Star Wars reviews of Episode I, Episode II, and Episode III and enjoyed them yet again. This might be the first case where the video reviews of a movie series are actually more entertaining and re-watchable than the actual movies.

Anyway the occasion was that Mrs. Maetenloch had announced that she wanted to go see The Force Awakens in the theater based on the positive reviews of it from her friends and coworkers.

[Now to put this in context you have to understand that she had never seen any of the Star Wars movies before in her life and was perfectly content in this state. To suddenly want to go see this kind of movie was....uncharacteristic. Now by cultural osmosis she did have a vague idea of the SW story - the Darth robot guy was bad, the Yoda was good, there were spaceships and laser swords, but after that it got real fuzzy real quick. I had tried to get her to watch the original one years before but it was late and I think she was already asleep before the droids got captured by the jawas.]

"Sure!" I said, "but to really understand and appreciate it you should watch the original trilogy first." She agreed and so over the next two weekends we ended up re-watching the original movies. She liked the original one even though it wasn't her usual cup of tea. But she really enjoyed TESB and got into the characters at that point. She also liked ROTJ (I had warned her about the stupid ewok crap beforehand).

So having brought her up to speed to circa 1983 we finally went off to see The Force Awakens in the theater.

Read more »

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Daily Roundup Of The Links

Don’t try to understand’em, just rope, throw, an’ brand’em.

Judge Lets Confessed Pedophile Walk Because He’s Now a She

NBC Hired Leslie Jones to be an Olympic Commentator Because of Her Enthusiastic Tweets
This is the kind of top over-the-top Tweet game you have to bring to get hired by NBC:
I'm just fucking up the anthem!! Go Ledecky!!
— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 8, 2016
— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 8, 2016
— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 8, 2016
— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 8, 2016
Team USA Basketball Players Were Offered A Weekend At A Brothel If They’ll Stay Away From Them In Rio
To be fair they left the brothel once they realized the for-men-only massage-spa with bar might be that kind of place.

Don't Worry Olympians - It Was Just A Slow-Moving Slum Bullet That Missed You

Why Star Trek is Not Libertarian
The Federation isn’t just socialist in the hyperbolic sense in which some conservatives like to denounce anyone to the left of them as socialist. It’s socialist in the literal sense that the government has near-total control over the economy and the means of production. Especially by the period portrayed in The Next Generation, the government seems to control all major economic enterprises, and there do not seem to be any significant private businesses controlled by humans in Federation territory. Star Fleet characters, such as Captain Picard, boast that the Federation has no currency and that humans are no longer motivated by material gain and do not engage in capitalist economic transactions.
Harry Mudd was a hero. No sucking at the state’s tit for him – he went out and earned his own way through sneakery, trickery and grift.

Donald Trump Is George Bluth, Sr., Explained
Hillary Clinton Is Lucille Bluth, Explained

How to Make Your Own Harry Potter Floating Candles
Note that the day laborer rates for wearing the candle suit they quote seem rather low.

Maine Bastards, the Damn South, and California F*ckboys

Honey The Thermostat Has Been Hacked Again, Also the Toaster

Women, Minorities Hardest Hit

Monday, August 08, 2016

Is Nothing At All Sacred Anymore?

Answer: No.

Exhibit A:
It becomes inevitable, after a certain point, that a subculture will fracture. Especially at a time where an election becomes so polarizing that neighbors won’t talk to neighbors, families split apart, and Chelsea won’t text Ivanka.

Take the furries for example — an old and proud subculture of people who dress up in anthropomorphic animal costumes and have sex with each other in said costumes. They are seeing the rise of a far right-wing nationalist faction. The “alt furries,” like the alt right, flirt with Nazi ideology, subscribe to a new anti-globalist brand of conservatism, and they absolutely love Donald Trump.
Proof also that there's no sub-culture so small that it can't have its own weirder, more-looked-down-upon sub-culture. (thanks to Andy for the link)

Related quote:
I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.
-- P.J. O'Rourke
Note that the same is not true apparently of someone dressed as a Nazi bear.

And you'll be as surprised as I was to find out that Nazis and guys in bear suits go way back. So perhaps the Nazi furries should be more accurately referred to as Nazi furry reenactors.

Semi-related: Nazi-ing up Nazi stuff so you know that it's Nazi.

Tags: Rule 34, Nazis

Scientist Man Analyzes The Ghostbusters Reboot

Here the guys from Red Letter Media and Half in the Bag analyze the Ghostbusters reboot 'scientifically' using actual facts and numbers.

Warning: there is math and logic here.
Trigger warning: there is also severe mansplaining.
Celebrity warning: Dan Aykroyd makes an ass of himself along the way.

Conclusions: a) Playing the SJW victim card now applies to crappy movies and b) young, fit Klan members apparently are a desirable demographic.

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Some Classic ONTs

With so many ONTs posted over the years it's easy to lose track of them and have a hard time finding them again. Especially since they all had basically the same title. :-) So I thought would gather up links to some of the more memorable ONTs in one place before they are lost to time.

If you have any ones that you think should be added, please suggest them in the comments or via email.

Oh and as I was gathering this list I showed a couple of these to Mrs. Maetenloch who I don't think has ever actually read a single ONT in all years I ever did them. Her comment was that hey maybe she should start reading more of them.

The Yokopalooza ONT

The Long Cat ONT

The QR Code ONT and it's Hidden ONT

The Who Goes Nazi ONT

The Cecil the Lion ONT

The Meet the Bow-F*cker ONT

The Tin Can ONT

A Sooper Sekrit ONT

The Lady Be Good ONT - an early one.

The Redneck Ninja ONT - another early one

The Infamous Memorial Day ONT - this actually was a genghis ONT when we were sharing duties

Random ONT 1

Random ONT 2

Random ONT 3

Random ONT 4

The backstory on these is that I had gotten tired of some commenters and I think maybe even Ace himself constantly posting gloomy, despairing comments in every thread. So I decided to go with the trend and show everyone what real DOOM threads looks like.

DOOM ONT - Day 1

DOOM ONT - Day 2

DOOM ONT - Day 3

DOOM ONT - Day 4


Random ONT 5

One of the All Picture ONTs - suck it Buzzfeed.

A Flamewar ONT - an early one. Gawd genghis loved these. Today they're known as 'Trump threads'.

Your suggestions here...